The Weight Of Money Podcast
The Weight of Money Podcast is about breaking down the principles of being productive individuals. We will be discussing various topic of different areas pertaining to financial lifestyle, building foundations & more. The overall goal is to become better than you were previously so provoking the thought of that is my gift to the world.
The Weight Of Money Podcast
Are We Building Together Yes or No? (Unedited)
Relationships can either uplift you or bring you down, and the key is learning to love yourself before trying to love others. We explore how our connections reveal hidden parts of ourselves and why establishing clear intentions is essential for relationship success.
• Many people invest more energy in loving others than in loving themselves
• Recognizing the difference between loving someone and merely lusting after them
• Understanding when you're being used as a "comfort animal" for someone's unhealed trauma
• The importance of establishing what you want to build together rather than just having fun
• Being cautious about who you allow around your significant other
• Social media complicates relationships by creating unrealistic expectations
• Surrounding yourself with people who both support and honestly challenge you
• Healing yourself before attempting to heal others
• Finding friends who celebrate your successes while telling you the truth when needed
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Welcome back to another episode of the Way To Money Podcast and I'm your host, duntese, and today we'll be talking about relationships, as you should say, like the effectiveness of relationships. Relationships can be trivial to the point to where, like you, will feel like sometimes you don't want to feel, like it's either you or that person. A lot of times we find ourselves discovering a lot about the person and our significant other or other person and about ourselves when we come into relationships, because you know a person that may not be able to show love and stuff like that may have their vulnerability and let down around their partner, but they don't have that on the outside of the world. But it's like, a lot of times you would think that relationships can drive you. A relationship can either uplift you or bring down, and that's just the complete honesty behind it. Because me, being honest with you and, you know, being in a fair relationship with myself, it's most definitely something that you have to grow accustomed to and actually learn how to trust people. But at the same time, don't let that convolute your, don't let that subside your desire to actually want to achieve your goals, because I know there's a lot of people out here you get that one girl. You're like man, she's special, she the one. She mean your pawpaw, your grandma and all that and come to find out she been doing everything under the sun. Now you're ready. Now you're ready to go. Now you're ready to go. Now you're ready to go catch your body. Body now, like now you're putting yourself to do something stupid, all because you feel like, just because you don't have that person no more, your life is over with. Your life is forever tainted, and it's not.
Speaker 1:I feel like we as people, we kind of give too much energy to love, and I'm saying like, not to the concept of love, but to the concept of actually loving other people. We give too much energy into loving other people other than loving ourselves. That's what makes people reactionary when they incur with these problems and they don't know how to really digest and take what's being. You know what's being shown to them, because lot of times, even if you've been on the outside looking in, you can tell somebody man, she ain't right, she doing this, she out here, she out here with so-and-so, so-and-so Like. I just seen her at the club. Man, she's just going out with a friend.
Speaker 1:You have some people that be so in denial and so they can't grasp the fact mentally. Like I know my girl want to do me like this Whole time she is, and as much as I see on the internet about women crying well, women, how he do me so wrong. I'm so tired of this. Next thing, you know y'all at the time, but you did so much. You're tired, but that's what I said. You got to actually, and once you do something, stand on it. You got to stand on it. You got to put yourself, you got to put your foot down and let yourself know, because if you keep letting your guard down around this person and they already know you're going to rinse and repeat, you're going to do the same thing. You're going to keep coming back just to have whatever happened to you again, only 10 times more.
Speaker 1:People don't understand that and I feel like, as we as people, as, like I said, as we get older and start to develop more, we get a sense of nature of how people ain't dealing with relationships. Relationships are a way more complicated aspect in life, more than just building. Like you know what I'm saying having fun, quote, unquote or whatever it may be, if you really I feel like this. The effectiveness of dating comes when you actually know what do you want to do with this person. What are y'all trying to build with each other? It ain't just about being all cutesyely wearing matching outfits and talking about, dude, I want to be your man or I want to be your lady. That's not it. Anybody can do that. Because if y'all going to do that, then I mean that's cool. But don't expect that relationship to be serious Because y'all started the terms off as something childish, something you know what I'm saying something childish associated like this, like do you like me?
Speaker 1:Yes, I know. Like, so that's the energy that you give it, instead of like, if you, I'm, you're my partner and, like I said, let's's build something, let's grow together, let's make money, let's start foundations, let's build, let's invest, let's put our heads together. Like I said, let's come up with a plan for this when we have our little ones or whatever, to have something. And I said, when we take our leave or when we're in our long way, you know, when we, you know, go over here. That's the type of training, that's the type of stuff that you need to be already, in fact, like already getting in your mind If you really really want this person. Now you just having fun, just like for you. You got to do your thing, do whatever you got to do, get it out to the system or whatever you're doing. But for the people out here that actually want to build and actually want something with the person that they're with, you definitely need to have a mindset of where, if I want to grow with this person, if I see me spending the rest of my life, you need to understand and distinguish between the fact that you either loving or lusting on that person.
Speaker 1:It's a lot of people out here just having mainly sex with people, or they have been in a relationship for a couple months and then be realizing like oh, I was only with you because of like we, of my issues. Like I love you with you because of my issues. I love you because you were there for me and you ain't really do me like how any other dude did me and all that. You don't want to be a comfort animal. You don't want to be a comfort animal to nobody. But that's the concept that doesn't get talked about enough and everybody end up falling in their trap after a while because you, like you just been a free therapy basically, and when she finally get over her situation or his situation, they finally get like a little come up or they started, you know, doing stuff different.
Speaker 1:That's when you notice the change. That's when you notice the separation, the this like it gets like you can have somebody literally standing in the same house with you. If they're mentally not in it, it's going to always show, regardless of the sex. I don't care how much they claim to be this pimp, pleo, methodicious and all that other type of stuff. It's just you can't hide it. That's why I said don't go out there wasting people's time.
Speaker 1:People, if y'all out here trying to get into a relationship or anything with somebody, they go for young adults people, you know, high schoolers or whatever they can be. You're going to have a relationship and everybody ain't going to say it honestly. You might have four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten relationships and a lot of people ain't going to say it. You be like you know you're going to want oh, I want what I read Moneybag, sexy Red and Drink. Well, sexy Red and Drink. One of them I'm relating to and it's like a lot of people get like I said, a lot of people get so infatuated with what they see online, they be thinking oh, I want my real life to reflect it and it don't be what it seem it be people literally dissing each other, fighting each other in front of their kids, dissing each other in the worst way possible, talking about private matters that should be handled only in home.
Speaker 1:Don't bring it to the internet and fellas. I understand. We live in a day and age where social media is more chronic than anything. If you have a problem with your significant other, woman or whatever you want to call her, never include no one on the internet Because they will laugh at you, they will laugh and clown you and you know it looks worse when men do it versus what I do with the both of us. I ain't going to lie. It ain't really no genderization near it, because you have women that are clowning you and you have men that are clowning you, and then all they'll do is react to your post when you do post and be like oh God, tell me what happened. Like, hey, bro, man, you crazy bro. Hey, what's up? Girl, I need a car. I'm going to have 10 seconds before I can get it right. Whole time. He's trying to fill in your spot. He's trying to get in the door.
Speaker 1:And then that's when you got to watch out too for your friends and who you have around, your significant others, because if you know they out here getting getting down to the boogie, to the back of the bump, never, like I said, it's a certain respect they gotta have for you and your relationship and you have to apply that and apply them down, because if you don't, then I mean you can't. Can you really expect her not to ask herself and demand not to follow the reason? Oh, you're proud to say no, no, I don't expect it, because they're my best friend and they're my man. You know you're supposed to do this. Yes, we know we don't supposed to do a lot of things, but do that stop us from doing it? No, it doesn't A lot of. We know we don't really supposed to smoke like that.
Speaker 1:People smoke weed, black and brown, swisher Sweets, crack, like it's the amount of people do a lot of drugs out here and they can't function without it. But at the same time we all really had it drug free. Some people just bypassed that in high school and just said you know what? I'm just going to try some drugs. I'm just going to try some drugs and you're going to see where it goes. Now they hit little black fingernails, knotted up and beat up. It looks terrible. You look terrible in these movies, but anyway, this ain't about this, ain't a drug health education podcast or class or nothing like that.
Speaker 1:But people, when you love somebody, it's going to always show, whether you want it to or not. A lot of times men think they too cool, like man. No, bro, I got whore. I can't love nobody. I don't love none of these women out here. I'm a cold-hearted son of a gun. I'm like bro, no, you not. No, you not. And I'm going to tell you something the people that be like that, they went through a they can. They probably went through a bad heartbreak, more than I said, probably going to throw a bad heartbreak within themselves or have a situation that caused them to look at relationship deals. A lot of people grew up in an unhappy home, watching domestic violence or watching, you know, their father or mother cheat on their other parent, and that's why some people may be so akin to a feeling like that.
Speaker 1:If I get in a relationship with you, I'm not stepping into a site. I'm not stepping into this because it's cheap or it's something to do. If we doing this, let's build that's even my personal relationship. I'm not to say I only been in two in my lifetime. Hopefully I don't know how much more I can, but I'm being honest.
Speaker 1:The reason why I don't dwell and dabble in relationships is because people are not healed. People are not healed and that is a relationship problem. That's probably the smallest thing about that. You know what I'm saying. That's probably the thing on their discovery they don't even care about. It's more so the trauma that they deal with in their own personal life. And it sucks that a lot of people engrave themselves on actually still trying to go out here and just have sex with a bunch of people and thinking they're probably going to go away. You're just around here putting trauma on people. That's it. I mean you can't say you are having fun or you know you are living it up to your dream. That's not a dream to aspire to be.
Speaker 1:If I had a daughter, I would not want her to be this you know what I'm saying so diluted in the mind to where she just thinking if everything else is in my life, I know I can use my body to get what I want to have what I need, or even worse, or even worse, to make people bend down to my will, to make them do what I want them to do, when I want them to do it and how I want them to do it. I don't want that. I hate that ideology and it's pronging it. Now A lot of people so-called they still want to be pimps and players and all that and don't have nothing to that name. They give all, they're putting their way to somebody that they're sleeping with and they're thinking it's all cool and dandy and you look dumb doing it. And, mind you, like I said, if you're doing it then that's fine, but don't expect it. And the years on down the line, you done gave away $100,000 to women that you wasn't even with for real. You was just sleeping with these people.
Speaker 1:But at the same time, you're going to look at it a whole lot different. You're going to look at it a whole lot different Because you're going to be like man, I've done this all my time and you're going to still be that old pimp with the gold, old wannabe pimp with the gold. Tee man, yeah, man, when I was back in the day, man I used to have, I used to have, yeah, this, that and that. Bro, you're living in the dream. Sound like them, people that be like them, people that peeped in high school and they never grew to be nothing else. They never actually subsided this stuff. Man, I used to do this stuff in high school. I used to have this. I used to have this. I used to flag one in my pictures in front of double click or all that that's cool.
Speaker 1:All that dies over when you're getting into 30, 40, 50, you're not going to still have that same mindset If you do. I feel like I said this you having that same mindset is within you, but you having that same life circumstance that you're dealing with now is within you and what you do, it's your action suit. It's more about what you output to the world and what you surround yourself with. You can't, and this is not about loving different relationships. This is a relationship with friends, whether you're personally in a relationship with somebody or friend-wise. All these relationships shouldn't deter you from actually accomplishing and growing yourself in no form or fashion, because you only have one life in this world and you can't grow yourself and build yourself up by always giving yourself to people.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm the friend that always help people out when they're proud of me. I'm the friend that you know. I help when I can, and if I don't, I'm going to feel like I may be a bad friend. No, if you have to give too much of yourself, more than you want to, to anybody, regardless of the status, you're doing too much. You should already know that's a red flag right there. You can't spread yourself thin for nobody, because I promise you a lot of times when those same people do it for you. If so, then you might have maybe one or two, but everybody won't. That's what you got. To know what to keep your circle small. Stop being so diminishing upon yourself and acting like I have to do this because I know I have a title to reach. No, I got to keep this. You know friendship going, because if that's how your friendship is, then I mean you shouldn't be getting it anyway, and that is. You know what it is like.
Speaker 1:If people actually apply themselves with the people that they actually need to have a relationship with, like people they need to talk to and further themselves in their career, or people that actually pushing them to be great and better and all it, then they'll be fine, but they. They never do that. They go with the complete opposite, because a lot of times even and I started to see it now I'm not going to hold you. Like I told y'all before, as I get older, I'm a very observant person. I peep out a lot of stuff A lot of times.
Speaker 1:People want yes, man, people want people to coincide and coexist with everything that they're saying, to believe and to believe that same type of imagery that they do, and it makes it hard for them to actually succeed and actually grow in life because they're so stuck in believing their own lies and telling themselves they can't grow. Or when somebody comes around and actually comes in and they like to tell them the truth or tell them about themselves, they don't want to believe it. They try to go and make it seem like it's everybody else but me. I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm doing this and doing that. But the whole time, like I said, I've been that person that's been trying to give people advice and stuff like that, as far as being whether it was like financial advice and I'm not a financial advisor or nothing like that, but I know I'm more than capable at explaining some terms to them and stuff like that because I'm diversing myself into finances and stuff like that at a young age.
Speaker 1:But you have to want to do the work on yourself. A lot of times like, oh yeah, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to get an account, I'm going to get this, I'm going to get that, and never do it. You never apply to nothing, you don't even try to look in it. So at the same time, if I can't help you with this, I can't hold a gun to your head and make you do it. You have to want to do it yourself. And that's just what anybody and people if you are that person that's trying to push a person to grow and maintain and stabilize themselves in their own predicament, even to get out to themselves in their own predicament, even to get out, to get in a better predicament, and you're doing all you can and ain't much that you can do. I understand it sounds terrible giving up on a friend or a loved one, but it's only so much you can do. You can't keep trying to give yourself off to people and make yourself seem so. You can't try to take that hurt and make it yours. They can only heal themselves. We can't.
Speaker 1:And that's another thing too about people that, like I said, dealing with people that come from traumatizing backgrounds like traumatizing background, it's hard for them to actually see because they so used to people babying and pacifying them. But you gotta do what you gotta do. You got to step up and actually step to the plate and do what you have to do. It's people that have worse, worse oh my God, I can't even get this straight Worse backgrounds than you have and they still have came to. They knew they wanted something, they scrolled to get it and it's not like you don't have love for them. But at the same time, just like your parents will say anything to you, your parents gonna be your worst pretty I anything to you, your parents are going to be your worst critics. I swear to God. That's literally all I've dealt with. But at the same time, I don't hate my parents for saying some of the stuff. I don't hate my parents for wanting to push me. They just want it better Me.
Speaker 1:Growing up with them, I seen what it was like to be in their type of seen, what it was like to be in like a lonely position or whatever the game may be. I wouldn't, I already internalized it and I wanted to go out and work and get my own. It was never a fact. I was like, oh, how are you going to try to divert yourself with money when you don't even really come from it? That's the point of doing this. Just because I don't come from it, my kids, my grandkids, great-grands, whoever my generation, it will continue. I will. Basically, I'm not beating them to it, I'm not working them to actually learn this stuff. As you grow up. You can teach them to learn their ABCs and count their numbers and multiply and all that you can teach them about it. You can throw finances into it too. It's all about how you do it and how you come for it.
Speaker 1:So I mean, like I said, in this day and age, now, with all the stuff that's going on in politics and the world, we have to know this stuff. This is not something that we can afford not to know. We have to know how to like, we have to know, understand and know what tax bracket we in. We have to know what a tax deduction is to be able to save more money, especially if you're an entrepreneur and people. That episode is coming soon, so just stay tuned for that and it will be probably a lengthy episode, I'm not sure, but it is very. It's going to be very detailed on what tax reduction are, why you need them and what can be the end result of your financial situation if you apply these to your, if you apply these to your actual life.
Speaker 1:And so, with that said, people, relationships is not something that you have to do. You don't have to do the relationship or even have to do the bondage and stuff like that. I'm not telling you to get out and go marry somebody, but I am telling you, make sure you have the right people around you enough to be happy. Not only be happy, but be actually confident and upstanding in yourself. You have somebody that's actually pushing you to grow and you know, not even saying like they got to. You know, just like a coach, just like a person who's training and coaching somebody in the gym you got to be. Sometimes you need some people need that big up. Some people be so down and dunked and you may not even know.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I may call my friend and be like you know what. I'm proud of you, I'm happy that you're doing your stuff and you know I got a friend from the graduate right now. Her name's Ashley and I'm proud of her too. She, you know, she didn't, you know, deal with us broken and stuff like that. And she told me, you know we had our talks and stuff about college and all that type of stuff, but I'm proud of her because she stood through it. She stood through it ten toes down, even though it had been plenty of time. I know she wanted to run through a wall. I know how it get. So you know she did her thing. I can't even say nothing else to her. I'm happy for her. I'm glad that she's doing that. I hope that she continues to be successful in everything God got planned for her. I hope he gives it to her at a steadfast rate. Tell her she won't overload herself. Shout out to Ashby Fisk University.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I did that, but I just thought it sounded cool though. But yeah, people, you got to have people in your life like that. You got to have people in your life don't mind congratulating you, don't mind cherishing you, don't mind building you up, but at the same time, they don't mind telling you the truth freedom when you're wrong. Building you up, but at the same time, they don't mind telling you the truth. We don't want you wrong. And so, with all that being said, that is the end of the episode.
Speaker 1:We made it through People. We almost at 600 downloads. I appreciate y'all so much. Give me 10,000. Tell your cousin, your granddaddy, your great granddaddy, your mama, your stepmama, your auntie, your playmama. Tell the cockroaches too, if they got a phone, let them download this episode. And always stay tuned and feel free to go back and watch it. Go back and watch my episode from the introduction all the way up to now and you'll get that.
Speaker 1:You're going with me as I grow this podcast and I can't appreciate y'all. I have people in Hong Kong, thailand, greenwood, mississippi, germany, bulgaria, palestine, like we, everywhere, like we can't go. You boys can't go. You guys see me on CNN, yeah yeah. But I thank y'all so much for supporting me and always giving me y'all to listen to, because I know y'all don't have to. And make sure people and this is another brand too in the show notes it will be the YouTube link. That is the page. So if you don't catch it on Amazon, spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you may get your Spotify on I mean your podcast on you can most definitely go to the YouTube. It goes straight to the YouTube. Go to YouTube, subscribe, like the video, comment, share it. Share it. People I know you're used to hearing this, share it. That's how you get people like me, that's how you hear my beautiful voice all the time and stuff like that. But yeah, we got goals, goals, we got aspirations and I love talking to y'all and I'll see y'all in the next episode. Peace.
